We're all guilty of it. Looking down when we should be looking up, looking through a screen when we should be looking with our eyes. Most cant imagine going a day without a smart phone practically glued to their palm. For the past month I have been smart phone-less, wandering through Thailand amusing myself with things other than candy crush and farmville. No instagram, no twitter, no texts, calls, snapchats, or the ever present "selfie". Instead I have watched, listened, and absorbed every sight, smell, and scene. I wish I could say my month of being "disconnected" was due to some profound enlightenment or self challenge... but the truth is, I dropped my phone in the toilet.
Devastation struck as I questioned how I would even function without my precious piece of equipment; "what will I do when I'm bored at work?" "How will I talk to people?" .. and most pathetically.. " I JUST made an instagram! I need more followers ughhh (insert sadface)"
The technological world slipped through my fingers and literally down the drain.
All of a sudden, I felt like I was left out of some secret club where everyone knew exactly when to whip out these high tech gadgets and begin their journey into the wireless world. As everyone around me moved their thumbs at the speed of light; I realized that for the past few years, I have been one of these manic thumb moving, I-phone zombies.
This realization encouraged me to actively began focusing on the world around me and exactly the things I would have missed if I had been absorbed in my phone. I realized that every moment spent with neck bent and eyes strained, is a moment forever lost in time. In todays society, every moment is a battle between the awareness of real life and the temptation of cyber life. Every moment spent inside cyber life instead of inside real life is a battle lost to technology. These two conflicting awareness occupants currently seem to be neck in neck in this ongoing war. With the seemingly growing fad of "collective consciousness" and the equally growing fad of "followers, hashtags, and abbreviations" ; the war has just begun.
Imagine if consciousness wins. Imagine if everyone collectively decided to calm the fu** down on the fast and embrace the slow. One morning as I gazed around my school's courtyard, I noticed my hands. Yes that's right my hands. No I wasn't on drugs. I noticed them because they were fidgeting, previously conditioned to be moving when my body is not. Texting, scrolling, or just surfing the web- that's what they are used to. I acknowledged them and for once in my life, consciously debated what I should do with them. I mean everyone else's hands were busy, so what should I do with mine? I felt awkward and momentarily twiddled my thumbs. But then I realized "my hands don't have to do anything" Its not a requirement for them to be busy. I actively decided to look inward instead of outward, to be rather than to be texting. Yes, it is important to keep your ties with other humans, to cherish friendships, and nurture the bonds with people. But isn't it just as important to honor yourself and nurture your moments of stillness?
"He who knows others is wise, but he who knows himself is enlightened" -Lao Tzu-
Next week I will be connected again, and although I am excited to see some familiar faces via facetime, I cant say that I am 100% happy about it. On one hand I am ecstatic to be more in touch with my loved ones (as I am on the other side of the world). But on the other hand, the freedom that being "disconnected" brought me was overwhelmingly beautiful. I have taken a vow that more moments will be given to my consciousness rather than to an artificial intelligence. I will not let my awareness be defeated by technology.
So give a few battles over to consciousness, put down the I-phone. Look up. Notice the air around you, a breeze, or the way sunlight is hitting a spot on the ground. Observe the thoughts that float by without any influence from the internet or social media. Sink into a rhythmic pattern of breath. Be still and see how far you can stretch your awareness. Explore exactly how you are feeling in this moment. Take a night to simply stare at the night sky (and no don't use the app for that). Realize that you are merely a speck in this infinite universe and that its going to keep moving... whether your aware of it or not. Put your ego in check, realize your occupancy here can only truly matter if it truly matters to you, and finally,... ask yourself:
"what side will prevail in this battle between conscious space and cyber space?".
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